The Role of Witnesses at the Wedding Reception

Who are the best man and maid of honor? What are their responsibilities? Is their role really limited to organizing the “last night of freedom” and sitting at the head table during the wedding reception? Absolutely not! They bear great responsibility, so think carefully when choosing them 🙂

photo by fotoursus.pl

It’s common for the Bride and Groom to ask siblings or close friends to take on this important role. On this special day, it’s important to have strong support from your witnesses, not only emotionally but also in terms of organization. This is crucial because a lack of support in key moments could turn everything upside down.

I once heard that, according to tradition, witnesses should be unmarried 🙂 I have no idea where that belief came from… Nine years ago, I was asked to be a witness by someone close to me (I was the last single woman in the family who had turned 18). Fascinated by the request, I didn’t think twice and threw my arms around her, shouting, “That’s great, of course!” Today, I sadly admit that I was a terrible witness. Not because I wasn’t engaged, but because my wedding experience was minimal, and I didn’t know exactly what I should be doing. I tried to be helpful and even had a needle and thread ready 🙂 but looking back, I know I didn’t fulfill even half of my duties. Age shouldn’t be the main determinant — my witness was my four-year-younger sister (also single :)), and she did a fantastic job. But do keep this in mind. A very young person who hasn’t attended many events of this scale might not know how to behave, what to focus on, and might panic unnecessarily in a difficult situation.

It’s important for the witnesses to be well-versed in the schedule of the day and the timeline of the reception. They should know the timing of everything, from the hairdresser appointment to the photographer’s arrival and the departure for the church. Involving them in the planning process, like purchasing decorative details and understanding the wedding vision, is extremely useful. Often, they help set up place cards or distribute gifts to guests (if you don’t have any ideas for gifts yet, check out this post. The witnesses are also responsible for purchasing confetti or rice and distributing it before the couple exits the church.

On the day of the ceremony, the witnesses should be the point of contact, not the Bride and Groom, so make sure to provide them with phone numbers for vendors to contact them freely. This is especially important if some guests are arriving by a bus hired by the couple. Transportation logistics can change at the last minute, so having a coordinator is essential, but this should be handled without involving the couple. If there are any special attractions planned for the reception, it’s helpful for the witnesses to be aware of them so they can inform the guests and encourage participation (if you are planning a fireworks show, check out some guidelines here).

Staying on the topic of fun, the best witnesses are those who are communicative, enjoy small talk, and are eager to engage with people and encourage everyone to join in the festivities. Such behavior will make your guests feel important, cared for, and create a special atmosphere. For international weddings, it’s beneficial if the witnesses speak English to help foster guest integration.

It’s not ideal when the Bride, instead of dancing, is running between tables and acting as a mediator between guest requests and the staff. Let your witnesses handle that role — let them communicate with the venue manager, request dimming the lights, or adjusting the temperature in the room. This will increase your comfort and allow you to fully enjoy your special day 🙂

I’m also seeing more couples choosing multiple bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is a great alternative for couples who have many candidates for the role and find it hard to choose. A big advantage is the ability to split duties among them. Just make sure to write down who’s responsible for what to avoid any unpleasant surprises.

photo by pokadrowani.pl
The most important thing is to surround yourself with kind and helpful people. Weddings can be very stressful, so the more positive support you have, the better. Review my tips, listen to your heart, and choose the best witness possible 🙂

Good luck!